TV School

I HATE THIS CENTURY

Some new episodes of the The Simpsons are great. Some are boring, some are regrettable, and some are just kind of “meh”. “The Scorpion’s Tale” falls firmly into that last category…forgettable, like a Necco Wafer on the conscience’s taste buds. You will forget about this episode as soon as you’re done watching it. What else can I say? I don’t work for 20th Century Fox, and I mean, I’ll do my best to keep this recap lively, I’ll use the full spectrum of my recap powers, but I make no promises. Feel free to ask for your money back at the door.

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WITHIN AND BEYOND

by Sarah Marie

Let’s start just like high school: They kissed, you guys. In retrospect, perhaps it’s no surprise that it didn’t take Kurt and Blaine a whole other season to do what we’ve come to watch them do (yes, I am assuming you were waiting for it). Their first kiss (and its passionate follow-up) is remarkable not only because it lingers as long and deeply as any hetero kiss we’ve seen and is the product of primetime basic cable – but because it’s so much more than it appears to be. Yes, Kurt is a fathomlessly talented tenor who’s already proven himself a master of Beatles covers, but in an episode devoted to the realization that life is bigger than the self, Blaine sees a creative equal who also understands death and grief, the ultimate forces encircling us. “You move me,” Blaine says to Kurt, in a moment significantly unaccompanied by underscoring music. That love is rooted in such recognition of a person’s depths is not a lesson often taught in high school or elsewhere. This is certainly the first time we’ve learned such a thing from Glee, whose attractions heretofore have dwelled largely on the surface, cue Finn and Quinn.

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PRISCILLA PRESLEY WAS FIFTEEN WHEN SHE MARRIED ELVIS

By Colleen Lobner

First, a programming note: sorry for the delay in getting this up. Busy week! Great episode, though. Maybe one of the best ever. It’s not a coincidence that such a standout episode would showcase great acting from each of the three female leads, Ginnifer Goodwin, Chloe Sevigny and Jeanne Tripplehorn. Goddesses, all of ‘em. And beyond that, it’s good to see that Big Love still has the capacity to catch viewers off guard. Don ready to give up his share of the business to Alby, Alby shooting Verlan, just as he began to show some of that Walker spunk- all twists I didn’t see coming.

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I CAN’T REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I SAW A GOOD AMNESIA EPISODE
 
By Riley Dashiell Biehl

Amnesia? Really? I assume next week’s episode will involve a villain swapping bodies with Robin, and the week after that Aqualad will get sick and the team will have to shrink down and go inside him and we’ll all learn something about platelets. Hopefully the family of the soap opera writer who first came up with the amnesia storyline is still being compensated, because just about every form of serial storytelling has used the trope at one point or another. Oh well, at least the team wasn’t de-aged into toddlers or something…they’re saving that for Season 2.

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THIS IS NOT A DRILL

By Emily Yoshida

Chaos, to those without the proper antibodies, is contagious. And in a show about the self-generating and sustaining tempest of emotions that define teenage life, we were bound to have some casualties of the over-eighteen variety. ”Teachers aren’t adults,” says Tina, inhaling a Fruit by the Foot as she attempts to have a girl-to-girl gabfest with Michelle in the cafeteria. “We hang around kids so much that we’re all infected by this weird kid disease that destroys our adulthood.” Granted, we haven’t met much of the River Mountain High faculty aside from the obnoxious (and in this episode, downright sinister) Dave, but something tells me that Tina does not speak for her colleagues here.

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UNDERSTAND ME, SUGAR

by Sarah Marie

In an otherwise strong episode, “Sexy” presents a dubious dichotomy at its start, describing celibacy as “a valid choice for teenagers who are not yet comfortable with intimacy.” The idea that sex and intimacy are inexorably linked is then thoughtfully taken apart throughout, so why is it presented here so flippantly?  Santana herself, enjoying her new realm of character depth, describes sex as “better without eye contact” before finally coming to grips with her feelings for Brittany.  Many of us have been clamoring for closure between the two former Cheerios, whose recently-less-ambiguous sexual dynamic evaporated when Brittany got herself a new set of wheels. In a bravely vulnerable moment, Santana attributes her scathing behavior to real fear about the decision to honor her sexual identity. The convoluted mind games that define her hetero romances were effective in keeping her from internal reflection, but we’re now getting to know a character who’s ready to understand more about who she is. Meanwhile, Kurt, anchored in the internal, learns that he has to get comfortable with what’s on the outside too in order to move forward and grow.

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FIGHT HERE ON THE OCEAN FLOOR

by Riley Dashiell Biehl

Okay kids, we’re going to have to keep this week’s recap a bit short. I’ve been smoking bowl after bowl of pure glass grade geek this weekend while attending the Emerald City Comic Con, and I’m a couple hits short of an overdose and consequently developing a body odor problem. So we’ve finally reached the end of our character-focused Skins-esque episodes this week, with the focus finally falling on our favorite Atlantean, Aqualad. I could spend time wondering and researching why only some of the DC Atlanteans are merpeople, or why Kaldur is the only one with gills, and what the deal is with the little Cthulhu boy, but like I said, I’m nerded out.

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MORALITY BITES

By Emily Yoshida

I told myself I’d try to keep my UK Skins comparisons to a minimum in these recaps, but so far that’s proving to be pretty difficult. Why is that, I wonder? I suspect it has less to do with not being able to judge the show on its own merits - I think its safe to say that by Episode 8 Skins US definitely has a life and momentum of its own - and more to do with the fact that Skins is much more than a show; a mere series of stories and characters. It’s an ethos, its a specific way of making TV, and the loyalty it inspires in its fans is equally split between its vast array of interchanging characters (there is truly someone for everyone among its four different casts), and those values and methods. So bear with me, here comes another UK/US comparison, but I think it’s worthy of discussion:

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ALL YOU DO IS COST ME MONEY I COULD BE WASTING

by Jordan Michelman

As our favorite intrepid jaundiced family flip-books its way through a quarter-century of cultural existence, it might be fair to say that, like most creatures in their mid-20s, they’ve learned to wear many hats. The Simpsons still swim in the mighty river of pop culture, and they’re still satirical, hilarious and offensive -have we really gotten used to Homer choking Bart in nearly every episode? Has America (and by America, I mean me) genuinely become desensitized to this unbridled display of physical child abuse? Is it okay that I laugh every time that it happens? (It’s something about Bart’s tongue, the way it sticks out and undulates like a lightning-struck snake.) What I’m saying is, The Simpsons can be funny and offensive AND resonant. The best episode of this season so far is “Lisa Simpson, This Is Not Your Life”, a prototypical “Lisa episode” capable of mining emotional ore in ways only The Simpsons can - below layers upon stratigraphic layers of bullshit and nonsense, there lie petrified heart and fossilized poignancy. This show is still able to strike those emotional chords because of, not in spite of, the high level of absurdity, hijinks, and increasing irrelevancy through which your average weekly outing treads. Some episodes achieve a higher function, this incalculable X-factor of soul that can only come from having quite literally grown up with these characters, having watched them for years trapped in their frustrated childhoods or muddling, disappointing adulthoods, while we progress quite by accident through our own. Sometimes The Simpsons is fucking brilliant. Sometimes.

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I’M TELLING YOU RIGHT NOW THE ONLY NAME GOING ON THAT CAKE IS MINE

By Colleen Lobner

The episode, which centers on Bill and Nicki’s legal marriage, kind of meanders along until the last ten minutes or so. I’m not sure why I was surprised that the accidentally-married-a-16-year-old issue resurfaced just as everyone had more or less forgotten about it. I guess I’m used to the writers introducing new storylines apropos of nothing and discarding them just as swiftly. But thanks to Heather, of all people, it seems that Bill’s underage chickens have come home to roost after all.

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